South Jersey's fastest growing Adult Sports and Social Club.: G.D. Newsletter "Sure To Entertain" 14th ed. **Basketball begins; Dodgeball Playoffs**

I know the G.D. Newsletter hasn't been written as much lately. Glory Days Sports has been hard at work getting more sports, at more locations, to serve you all the best we can. If everyone really wants, we can make sure we do the G.D. Newsletter at least 2 times a month. For those of you that do not know or just got out from under a rock, The G.D. Newsletter is "Sure to Entertain"! We poke fun at everyone and everything...it is all in the name of Fun! If you don't want to have Fun...don't read it!

Basketball Week 1

The past week started off not so awesome for Glory Days Sports. At least in our opinion, with the standards we have set. We have now started our 1st ever Men's Basketball League, located at the "Blue Barn" in Marlton. Games began Sunday night. While everyone definitely had a great time, Glory Days Sports had problems. The night began when the crew of 4 (really 3) were Car Jacked at the Super Wawa by a women in a ski mask! This chick was a Grendel look alike...and not the Angelina Jolie type either! She grabbed Mark DeNafo by the hair (haha) and tossed him aside. As she peered over, Nick Gargano jumped on her back and tried to wrestle her to the ground. To no avail, his efforts just stirred this crazy beast further. With one fell swoop, she tossed him aside. Directly on top of Mark, his face to Marks b#$ls (a rather precarious position for both)! As Jamie Connor made his move, to do what neither Mark nor Nick could do, fight this nasty beast and regain their manhood, the beast started laughing hysterically. "What? What? Why are you laughing", Jamie says. Grendel smirked, "I won't hurt you little guy. I already feel bad for what I did to you parents. Look at them over there caressing each other!" "Good Luck with Adam and Steve...", she said as she drove away with my minivan (basketball rules were in tow, Oh no the rules!!!!!!!). You may have noticed our other partner Matt DeNafo wasn't with us. Yes, for some reason he was off wondering aimlessly through Wharton State Forest. Damn Tree Huggers! (The previous story was not concocted in any way to cover for Glory Days Sports few mistakes on Sunday Night. I bet they don't get Car Jacked again...I bet the rest of the basketball season runs like a well oiled machine...I bet our 4 hour last meeting solved the problems...all about the car jacking of course.)

Glory Days found the rules laying on the side of the road on the way home. We will be sure to bring them starting week 2.

****Due to the inclement weather approaching please stay on call for Basketball Saturday evening. We will call all Captains by early afternoon to let them know if games are canceled.

Dodgeball Playoffs

Wow! What an amazing night last night was! It started with an amazing feeling of tension in the air. Everyone noticed it...who was going to raise their level of play and win the "Glory".

(MEET GLORY)

The first set of games found Ballz On Ur Jawz beating the Pink Panthers in a tight match. The Pink Panthers played the entire night one player short, and almost pulled off the impossible. Jay and Dave DiBartolomeo, Charlie Miller, and Paul Leech were playing out of the craniums! Lou Di Marco, the Captain of Ballz would not allow that to continue all night. He rallied the troops and moved them to the second round, where they would have to face Gag On Our Balls. This was a battle that even the teams' namesake could not over shadow (The Battle of BJs). Ballz jumped out to an early lead up 2-0 against the undefeated Gags squad. You could see the tension wrought all over the Gags faces. They really turned the heat up at that point. The Alber trio (Matt, Brian, and Kelly) made some terrific plays to get their team back in it. The couples then finished the Ballz off (Adam-Nikki and Jamie-Kori). Raising Gags squad to the championship.

Over on the other court, Sweaty Balls finally had a full team for the always fun Balls Deep team. Matt Logan, Chris Deal, Kahlee Metzger, Allsion Conover, the always colorful David Magazzo, even Matt Tippin , and the entire Ball Deep team were by far our most entertaining crew all season long. The have that youthful exuberance that allowed them to stand apart from everyone else! Most teams took their crazy antics as immature and threatening. That is only because they did not know Balls Deep like Glory Days knows them. A great bunch that is out here for the same reason everyone else is...FUN! They made the most of every night too. Well except tonight...Sweaty Balls sent them back to school with a final match victory. The next game matched the Sloppy Hairless Chihuahuas against the Sweat Balls. Right from the start the tension present for this game showed through. Both teams were very evenly matched (mouth for mouth). During the season the yapping little dogs only lose came at the hands of the killers (Gags On Our Balls). They were very surprised at the match they were given by Michael Valenti, Mike Loser, Sean Geary and the rest of team Sweaty. Captain Jackie Levins of the yapping little dogs even tried to distract the referees while her team bite at the heels of team Sweaty. Not going to happen with Ref "Big" John Kelly at the helm. He kept the game from losing control and reigned the teams back in. Sharon DeNafo was a force in the victory for the Sweaty Balls...must have been her soft hands...catching every ball that swung by; while Sean Geary dropped the hammer with that cannon of an arm to end the night for Sloppy Hairless Chihuahuas. They then left immediately and missed an amazing championship.

The Championship was fought hard by both teams right from jump street. Gags On Our Balls knew to not take this Sweaty Ball team lightly. Sweaty Balls played as good as they could but 2 prior games proved to be too much. Sweat Balls was an understatement when you looked at this squad midway through the championship. Again, the rocket arms of The Alber Brothers, Jimmy Gags himself, Matt, Adam, Guy, and Jamie just over powered everyone. After wearing the Sweaty Balls down the Girls of Gags finished the job. Kelly and Nikki were ducking and dodging, gathering balls and supplying their teammates. Then Kori Goerlitz did all the diving. Making 2 amazing catches in the last match on key players of team Sweaty (Jay Cassario and Mark DeNafo). That was it the match ended, with Adam flying on to the court, carrying Glory with him! Congratulations Gags On Our Ball Winter 2010 Dodgeball Champions! A special thanks to Sweaty Balls for taking their lose with such grace. Good sportsmanship is a cornerstone of Glory Days Sports and you made us look great!

Special Thanks goes out to all our players that did not make the playoffs and came to watch and hung out until the end of the Championship! Awesome guys Thank you Ball Busters, Foul Balls, Big Ballers, Sea Shepards, and Vicious Vikings! We are glad you guys joined in for one last night of Season 1! Sea you all next season!!!

As for now, this Jamie Connor signing off.