G.D. Newsletter "Sure To Entertain" 14th ed. **Basketball begins; Dodgeball Playoffs**

I know the G.D. Newsletter hasn't been written as much lately. Glory Days Sports has been hard at work getting more sports, at more locations, to serve you all the best we can. If everyone really wants, we can make sure we do the G.D. Newsletter at least 2 times a month. For those of you that do not know or just got out from under a rock, The G.D. Newsletter is "Sure to Entertain"! We poke fun at everyone and everything...it is all in the name of Fun! If you don't want to have Fun...don't read it!

Basketball Week 1

The past week started off not so awesome for Glory Days Sports. At least in our opinion, with the standards we have set. We have now started our 1st ever Men's Basketball League, located at the "Blue Barn" in Marlton. Games began Sunday night. While everyone definitely had a great time, Glory Days Sports had problems. The night began when the crew of 4 (really 3) were Car Jacked at the Super Wawa by a women in a ski mask! This chick was a Grendel look alike...and not the Angelina Jolie type either! She grabbed Mark DeNafo by the hair (haha) and tossed him aside. As she peered over, Nick Gargano jumped on her back and tried to wrestle her to the ground. To no avail, his efforts just stirred this crazy beast further. With one fell swoop, she tossed him aside. Directly on top of Mark, his face to Marks b#$ls (a rather precarious position for both)! As Jamie Connor made his move, to do what neither Mark nor Nick could do, fight this nasty beast and regain their manhood, the beast started laughing hysterically. "What? What? Why are you laughing", Jamie says. Grendel smirked, "I won't hurt you little guy. I already feel bad for what I did to you parents. Look at them over there caressing each other!" "Good Luck with Adam and Steve...", she said as she drove away with my minivan (basketball rules were in tow, Oh no the rules!!!!!!!). You may have noticed our other partner Matt DeNafo wasn't with us. Yes, for some reason he was off wondering aimlessly through Wharton State Forest. Damn Tree Huggers! (The previous story was not concocted in any way to cover for Glory Days Sports few mistakes on Sunday Night. I bet they don't get Car Jacked again...I bet the rest of the basketball season runs like a well oiled machine...I bet our 4 hour last meeting solved the problems...all about the car jacking of course.)

Glory Days found the rules laying on the side of the road on the way home. We will be sure to bring them starting week 2.

****Due to the inclement weather approaching please stay on call for Basketball Saturday evening. We will call all Captains by early afternoon to let them know if games are canceled.

Dodgeball Playoffs

Wow! What an amazing night last night was! It started with an amazing feeling of tension in the air. Everyone noticed it...who was going to raise their level of play and win the "Glory".

(MEET GLORY)

The first set of games found Ballz On Ur Jawz beating the Pink Panthers in a tight match. The Pink Panthers played the entire night one player short, and almost pulled off the impossible. Jay and Dave DiBartolomeo, Charlie Miller, and Paul Leech were playing out of the craniums! Lou Di Marco, the Captain of Ballz would not allow that to continue all night. He rallied the troops and moved them to the second round, where they would have to face Gag On Our Balls. This was a battle that even the teams' namesake could not over shadow (The Battle of BJs). Ballz jumped out to an early lead up 2-0 against the undefeated Gags squad. You could see the tension wrought all over the Gags faces. They really turned the heat up at that point. The Alber trio (Matt, Brian, and Kelly) made some terrific plays to get their team back in it. The couples then finished the Ballz off (Adam-Nikki and Jamie-Kori). Raising Gags squad to the championship.

Over on the other court, Sweaty Balls finally had a full team for the always fun Balls Deep team. Matt Logan, Chris Deal, Kahlee Metzger, Allsion Conover, the always colorful David Magazzo, even Matt Tippin , and the entire Ball Deep team were by far our most entertaining crew all season long. The have that youthful exuberance that allowed them to stand apart from everyone else! Most teams took their crazy antics as immature and threatening. That is only because they did not know Balls Deep like Glory Days knows them. A great bunch that is out here for the same reason everyone else is...FUN! They made the most of every night too. Well except tonight...Sweaty Balls sent them back to school with a final match victory. The next game matched the Sloppy Hairless Chihuahuas against the Sweat Balls. Right from the start the tension present for this game showed through. Both teams were very evenly matched (mouth for mouth). During the season the yapping little dogs only lose came at the hands of the killers (Gags On Our Balls). They were very surprised at the match they were given by Michael Valenti, Mike Loser, Sean Geary and the rest of team Sweaty. Captain Jackie Levins of the yapping little dogs even tried to distract the referees while her team bite at the heels of team Sweaty. Not going to happen with Ref "Big" John Kelly at the helm. He kept the game from losing control and reigned the teams back in. Sharon DeNafo was a force in the victory for the Sweaty Balls...must have been her soft hands...catching every ball that swung by; while Sean Geary dropped the hammer with that cannon of an arm to end the night for Sloppy Hairless Chihuahuas. They then left immediately and missed an amazing championship.

The Championship was fought hard by both teams right from jump street. Gags On Our Balls knew to not take this Sweaty Ball team lightly. Sweaty Balls played as good as they could but 2 prior games proved to be too much. Sweat Balls was an understatement when you looked at this squad midway through the championship. Again, the rocket arms of The Alber Brothers, Jimmy Gags himself, Matt, Adam, Guy, and Jamie just over powered everyone. After wearing the Sweaty Balls down the Girls of Gags finished the job. Kelly and Nikki were ducking and dodging, gathering balls and supplying their teammates. Then Kori Goerlitz did all the diving. Making 2 amazing catches in the last match on key players of team Sweaty (Jay Cassario and Mark DeNafo). That was it the match ended, with Adam flying on to the court, carrying Glory with him! Congratulations Gags On Our Ball Winter 2010 Dodgeball Champions! A special thanks to Sweaty Balls for taking their lose with such grace. Good sportsmanship is a cornerstone of Glory Days Sports and you made us look great!

Special Thanks goes out to all our players that did not make the playoffs and came to watch and hung out until the end of the Championship! Awesome guys Thank you Ball Busters, Foul Balls, Big Ballers, Sea Shepards, and Vicious Vikings! We are glad you guys joined in for one last night of Season 1! Sea you all next season!!!

As for now, this Jamie Connor signing off.

Upcoming Sports Registering Now

Leagues

Men's Basketball Season I (Marlton). Registration Closed.

Dodgeball Season II (Voorhees) only 1 spot left Call Now. Registration almost closed

Dodgeball Season I (Deptford) accepting 12 teams. Registration just opened; 3 teams in already.

Coed Softball Spring Season (Hammonton) accepting 12 teams. Registration now Open.

Coed Softball Spring Season (Marlton and more) accepting 12 teams. Registration now Open.

Coed Volleyball Summer Season. Registration opens in June.

Flag Football Fall Season. Registration opens September.

Tournaments

Charity Dodgeball Tournament (benefiting FOP Lodge #143 Fallen Angel Fund)

When: April 17th

Where: Flyers Skate Zone (Voorhees)

Registration is now Open.

Charity Wiffle Ball Tournament (benefiting Waterford Twp. Police Foundation and TUFF)

When: June 5th

Where: Ritter Field (Atco)

Registration is now Open

Glory Days Kickball Tournament

When: TBD (sometime in June)

Where: TBD

Registration not yet open

Glory Days 2nd Annual "Backyard Classic" Championship Wiffle Ball Tournament

When: August

Where: Calabrese Field (Cedar Brook)

Registration not yet open

Glory Days Annual "Summer Slam" Championship Dodgeball Tournament (accepting teams from all over the East Coast; up to 72 teams!)

When: TBD

Where: TBD

Registration not yet open.

As always all Leagues and Tournaments are first come, first served. Please do not delay, if you want to play!

G.D. Newsletter "Sure To Entertain" 13th ed.

Alright, alright easy with all the emails. I need a day or two, to organize my thoughts from the deluge of stimuli taken in each Wednesday night at Glory Days Sports Dodgeball League. For those members new to Glory Days Sports, the G.D. Newsletter "Sure to Entertain" has created quite the "cult" like following! Without exaggeration, I have counted at least 7 different [let's call them Groupies], propositioning me by email. I feel like a rock star of some sort. Kind of like "The King of the Keyboard" (pulling more tail than Elvis ever did). Okay, so maybe it's not exactly "tail" I am pulling but can't a married guy with 4 daughters dream a little? All joking aside, most weeks, I will get the G.D. Newsletter out Friday or Saturday during the Dodgeball season. No need to send the dozen emails, asking "...when will it be done already...", creating more pressure on me.

Week 2 of Glory Days Sports Dodgeball League: It was Awesome!

Now to the games:

1. In our porno match, Gags On Our Balls slaps around Balls Deep. 10-3

2. Foul Balls starts their double header (you have a dirty mind) strong beating Big Ballers. 9-4

3. The Sloppy Hairless Chihuahuas bite the Ball Busters. 10-3

4. Sweaty Balls drip (I mean drop) the Sea Sheppards. 8-5

5. Ballz On Your Jawz choke out the Submissive Vikings (oops Vicious). 8-5

6. Pink Panthers are able to straighten out the Foul Balls. 7-6

All of the matches were were extremely exhilarating! The pace of play is so fast and hard it is difficult to take notes of all the drama occurring. It was certainly a lot easier writing witty nuggets of wisdom for the Glory Days Sports Coed Softball League or the Glory Days Sports Wiffle Ball Tournament, than it has been for the Glory Days Sports Dodgeball League. Just click on these couple write ups to witness the excellence of penmanship. The one with the Tea-bagging Umpire (a fan favorite) or the one with Mr. Happy Our Wiffle Ball Champ (our biggest Tournament to date). They were absolutely awesome. I think you all can help with my dilemma though.

I need a little more theatrics from all of you. That's right Dodgeball is not just a game to win or lose, it's a stage to express yourself! I will be grading the teams each week on creativity and originality. What am I looking for, you ask? It is very easy. Just wow me! That's right Wow Me (or send over the groupies)!

Right now, Balls Deep is leading this category. They have come each week with their headbands and their knee pads, sporting the look straight out of Dodgeball The Movie. This team of snot nosed college kids put on a great show. Don't mistake their yelling at the refs as a competitive nature, it's all part of their master plan. To be chosen, "Most Entertaining Dodgeball Team" at the end of the season. They could care less about wins and loses; as reflected by their 13 and 22 record. Keep up the good work Balls Deep and don't worry, if you mix in a win or two from time to time, I will not hold that against you!

So remember, Wow ME!

***Rules Further Explained***

1. A clean block is a play in which you use your dodge ball to block the thrown dodge ball of your opponent. You must maintain full control of your ball (do not drop it or you're out) after the ball is blocked. You must not allow the thrown ball to hit any part of your body, only your dodge ball. Also, the blocked ball remains live until it hits the ground or such. That means if it is then caught by your teammate, the thrower is out or if it hits you teammate the teammate is out. Just remember that the blocked ball remains live.

2. The Referee Fee of $10 must be paid prior to the start of the game. The referees have been instructed to NOT start the game until both teams have paid. That will save us from chasing teams down after the game. Thank you.

***Updates***

Join us all at Applebee's on rt 561 (cut right through the movie theatre parking lot) for after Dodgeball Cocktails and Grub. Glory Days Sports is currently in talks with Applebee's on cutting a deal for us Dodgeballers every Wednesday after the games. If we overwhelm them this week, I am sure negotiations will be much easier. Thus the deal we all get will be awesome! See you there.

Glory Days Sports newest leagues are now forming:

Winter Men's Basketball League registration opening January 3rd.

Season 2 of Dodgeball starting mid February, registration opens now.

Spring Coed Softball League registration opens early February, games to start in April.

Summer Kickball Tournament sometime in June.

Summer Wiffleball Tournament also around June.

All leagues are first come, first served and they have been filling up very fast. Start getting your teams together now and register them with Glory Days Sports either by phone, email, or in person.

Until next edition...this is Jamie Connor signing off!

G.D. Newsletter "Sure To Entertain" 12th ed. **The Start of Dodgeball**

Glory Days Sports newest attraction, Dodgeball was under way and in full force on Wednesday night at The Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees. The evening began with a Captains Meeting just off the court where all the excitement was soon to ensue. During this meeting of minds, (some of the most creative people in South Jersey, well creative with their team names that is) captains were introducing themselves to each other with some small talk but mostly anticipatory stares. If looks could kill, I am not sure everyone would have made it out of that room! I did though, over hear some chatter that was very interesting and must be reported. It went something like this...

"Hi how ya doin I'm Ed of the Ball Busters." "Oh, hi I am Matt of Balls Deep. Nice to meet you." Then Ed leans over whispering to his co-captain Kelly so Matt doesn't hear, "Balls Deep! That sounds like it really hurts!" Ed entering back into conversation, "Say Matt, where did that team name come from?" Matt grimaces then points and says "That's a question you should ask them." His finger menacingly pointing towards Adam and Jim, team captains of Gags On Ur Balls. "Hey Adam, what's with the deal with Balls Deep?" Adam gargles "argh argh argh." Ed leans back to Kelly and whispers again, "Oh, I see. Poor guy."

Glory Days Sports management quelled the tension by starting to go over the league rules and player expectations in regarding referees. This went on for a few minutes. As Mark DeNafo of GDS wrapped up his speech, all eyes peered at the clock. Everyone was now bubbling with excitement as the clock read 7:00 pm; Time to get started.

Everyone rushed out of the room and headed straight to their respective court. All of the refs individually called together their two opposing teams, went over a couple more things and then surprisingly Bruce Buffer of the UFC falls out of the sky and exclaims, "LET'S GET READY TO RUUUMBLEEEE!" Wow, Bruce Buffer kicking it off! Glory Days Sports really knows how to get things started!

Unbelievably awesome, fast paced action was the story of the night. Was it the adrenaline rush for the start of the first ever Dodgeball League in South Jersey? Or was it the perfectly chosen setting of The Flyers Skate Zone after months of research by Glory Days Sports? Probably, a little of both mixed in with teams comprised of players that are some of the finest athletes in all the land! I mean that! Did you see the players of Sweaty Balls? These guys look more like NFL Linebackers. All of them about 6'3" with bodies tighter than the lips of the Sloppy Hairless Chihuahuas (the opponent of Balls Deep on Wednesday night of course).

The evening could not have gone any better. It appeared that every single person involved had smiles on their faces. Running around, dodging, ducking, diving...it was AWESOME!

We look forward to an amazing first season with everyone. Please bring the same excitement every Wednesday.

Until next time...this is Jamie Connor signing off!

***Rule Changes***

1. A neutral zone will be implemented starting week 2. During the "rush" at the start of each game, players will now be required to retreat back after grabbing a ball, to the neutral zone line (it will clearly marked and explained before the start of the next games) before throwing at your opponent. This line is only in play during the "rush". Once a player returns back to this line play resumes as before.

2. More official games will be played each night. Instead of the 9 games per night we originally had, we will now be playing 13 games per night.

3. "Pinching" is illegal. The act of squishing or squeezing a ball excessively before you throw it. A referee will use their judgement and call you out, if you are seen Pinching a ball.

***Updates***

Glory Days Sports newest leagues are forming soon:

Winter Mens Basketball League will start in early February.

Season 2 of Dodgeball will start in late February.

Spring Coed Softball will start in April.

Summer Kickball Tournament sometime in June.

Summer Wiffleball Tournament also around June.

Start getting your teams together now.