G.D. Newsletter "Sure To Entertain" 13th ed.

Alright, alright easy with all the emails. I need a day or two, to organize my thoughts from the deluge of stimuli taken in each Wednesday night at Glory Days Sports Dodgeball League. For those members new to Glory Days Sports, the G.D. Newsletter "Sure to Entertain" has created quite the "cult" like following! Without exaggeration, I have counted at least 7 different [let's call them Groupies], propositioning me by email. I feel like a rock star of some sort. Kind of like "The King of the Keyboard" (pulling more tail than Elvis ever did). Okay, so maybe it's not exactly "tail" I am pulling but can't a married guy with 4 daughters dream a little? All joking aside, most weeks, I will get the G.D. Newsletter out Friday or Saturday during the Dodgeball season. No need to send the dozen emails, asking "...when will it be done already...", creating more pressure on me.

Week 2 of Glory Days Sports Dodgeball League: It was Awesome!

Now to the games:

1. In our porno match, Gags On Our Balls slaps around Balls Deep. 10-3

2. Foul Balls starts their double header (you have a dirty mind) strong beating Big Ballers. 9-4

3. The Sloppy Hairless Chihuahuas bite the Ball Busters. 10-3

4. Sweaty Balls drip (I mean drop) the Sea Sheppards. 8-5

5. Ballz On Your Jawz choke out the Submissive Vikings (oops Vicious). 8-5

6. Pink Panthers are able to straighten out the Foul Balls. 7-6

All of the matches were were extremely exhilarating! The pace of play is so fast and hard it is difficult to take notes of all the drama occurring. It was certainly a lot easier writing witty nuggets of wisdom for the Glory Days Sports Coed Softball League or the Glory Days Sports Wiffle Ball Tournament, than it has been for the Glory Days Sports Dodgeball League. Just click on these couple write ups to witness the excellence of penmanship. The one with the Tea-bagging Umpire (a fan favorite) or the one with Mr. Happy Our Wiffle Ball Champ (our biggest Tournament to date). They were absolutely awesome. I think you all can help with my dilemma though.

I need a little more theatrics from all of you. That's right Dodgeball is not just a game to win or lose, it's a stage to express yourself! I will be grading the teams each week on creativity and originality. What am I looking for, you ask? It is very easy. Just wow me! That's right Wow Me (or send over the groupies)!

Right now, Balls Deep is leading this category. They have come each week with their headbands and their knee pads, sporting the look straight out of Dodgeball The Movie. This team of snot nosed college kids put on a great show. Don't mistake their yelling at the refs as a competitive nature, it's all part of their master plan. To be chosen, "Most Entertaining Dodgeball Team" at the end of the season. They could care less about wins and loses; as reflected by their 13 and 22 record. Keep up the good work Balls Deep and don't worry, if you mix in a win or two from time to time, I will not hold that against you!

So remember, Wow ME!

***Rules Further Explained***

1. A clean block is a play in which you use your dodge ball to block the thrown dodge ball of your opponent. You must maintain full control of your ball (do not drop it or you're out) after the ball is blocked. You must not allow the thrown ball to hit any part of your body, only your dodge ball. Also, the blocked ball remains live until it hits the ground or such. That means if it is then caught by your teammate, the thrower is out or if it hits you teammate the teammate is out. Just remember that the blocked ball remains live.

2. The Referee Fee of $10 must be paid prior to the start of the game. The referees have been instructed to NOT start the game until both teams have paid. That will save us from chasing teams down after the game. Thank you.

***Updates***

Join us all at Applebee's on rt 561 (cut right through the movie theatre parking lot) for after Dodgeball Cocktails and Grub. Glory Days Sports is currently in talks with Applebee's on cutting a deal for us Dodgeballers every Wednesday after the games. If we overwhelm them this week, I am sure negotiations will be much easier. Thus the deal we all get will be awesome! See you there.

Glory Days Sports newest leagues are now forming:

Winter Men's Basketball League registration opening January 3rd.

Season 2 of Dodgeball starting mid February, registration opens now.

Spring Coed Softball League registration opens early February, games to start in April.

Summer Kickball Tournament sometime in June.

Summer Wiffleball Tournament also around June.

All leagues are first come, first served and they have been filling up very fast. Start getting your teams together now and register them with Glory Days Sports either by phone, email, or in person.

Until next edition...this is Jamie Connor signing off!

G.D. Newsletter "Sure To Entertain" 12th ed. **The Start of Dodgeball**

Glory Days Sports newest attraction, Dodgeball was under way and in full force on Wednesday night at The Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees. The evening began with a Captains Meeting just off the court where all the excitement was soon to ensue. During this meeting of minds, (some of the most creative people in South Jersey, well creative with their team names that is) captains were introducing themselves to each other with some small talk but mostly anticipatory stares. If looks could kill, I am not sure everyone would have made it out of that room! I did though, over hear some chatter that was very interesting and must be reported. It went something like this...

"Hi how ya doin I'm Ed of the Ball Busters." "Oh, hi I am Matt of Balls Deep. Nice to meet you." Then Ed leans over whispering to his co-captain Kelly so Matt doesn't hear, "Balls Deep! That sounds like it really hurts!" Ed entering back into conversation, "Say Matt, where did that team name come from?" Matt grimaces then points and says "That's a question you should ask them." His finger menacingly pointing towards Adam and Jim, team captains of Gags On Ur Balls. "Hey Adam, what's with the deal with Balls Deep?" Adam gargles "argh argh argh." Ed leans back to Kelly and whispers again, "Oh, I see. Poor guy."

Glory Days Sports management quelled the tension by starting to go over the league rules and player expectations in regarding referees. This went on for a few minutes. As Mark DeNafo of GDS wrapped up his speech, all eyes peered at the clock. Everyone was now bubbling with excitement as the clock read 7:00 pm; Time to get started.

Everyone rushed out of the room and headed straight to their respective court. All of the refs individually called together their two opposing teams, went over a couple more things and then surprisingly Bruce Buffer of the UFC falls out of the sky and exclaims, "LET'S GET READY TO RUUUMBLEEEE!" Wow, Bruce Buffer kicking it off! Glory Days Sports really knows how to get things started!

Unbelievably awesome, fast paced action was the story of the night. Was it the adrenaline rush for the start of the first ever Dodgeball League in South Jersey? Or was it the perfectly chosen setting of The Flyers Skate Zone after months of research by Glory Days Sports? Probably, a little of both mixed in with teams comprised of players that are some of the finest athletes in all the land! I mean that! Did you see the players of Sweaty Balls? These guys look more like NFL Linebackers. All of them about 6'3" with bodies tighter than the lips of the Sloppy Hairless Chihuahuas (the opponent of Balls Deep on Wednesday night of course).

The evening could not have gone any better. It appeared that every single person involved had smiles on their faces. Running around, dodging, ducking, diving...it was AWESOME!

We look forward to an amazing first season with everyone. Please bring the same excitement every Wednesday.

Until next time...this is Jamie Connor signing off!

***Rule Changes***

1. A neutral zone will be implemented starting week 2. During the "rush" at the start of each game, players will now be required to retreat back after grabbing a ball, to the neutral zone line (it will clearly marked and explained before the start of the next games) before throwing at your opponent. This line is only in play during the "rush". Once a player returns back to this line play resumes as before.

2. More official games will be played each night. Instead of the 9 games per night we originally had, we will now be playing 13 games per night.

3. "Pinching" is illegal. The act of squishing or squeezing a ball excessively before you throw it. A referee will use their judgement and call you out, if you are seen Pinching a ball.

***Updates***

Glory Days Sports newest leagues are forming soon:

Winter Mens Basketball League will start in early February.

Season 2 of Dodgeball will start in late February.

Spring Coed Softball will start in April.

Summer Kickball Tournament sometime in June.

Summer Wiffleball Tournament also around June.

Start getting your teams together now.